Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I hate Mondays and I'm not Supermom

Started my week off on a bad note.

Went to the gym and the no touch soap dispenser is not working. I go work out and figure it will work the next time I use it (it has been fickle in the past). I get ready to leave and it is still not working. I always eat a snack after working out on my way home and MUST have clean hands. Heck, even if I didn't eat after I still want clean hands! I tell the two guys that are working. I offer to help replace the batteries. He is using a flat head screw driver on a Philips head screw and he has only one good hand he can use. I offer to help. We replace the batteries. Still no soap. Ugh!

I go out to get in my car and notice that the back right hand tire is sitting in a huge pile of broken tinted glass. I look at my windows, it wasn't from my car and there is no car parked next to me on that side. I go back in and ask for a broom and dust pan. Same guy helps me with the glass. I pull my car back and inspect all the tires. I am already paranoid about tire inflation, it is really an obsession, and find a nail in the right front tire. Joy. My poor husband, God bless him, took it to Town Fair Tire after work later that day(love them!!) where they tested all the tires, removed the nail and patched the tire for 4 bucks and change. This took 2 hours out of his day after working 10 hours.

On my way to Walmart I call Stephen's school to see how they liked the Flarp (farts in a can putty) and she tells me he bit his hand. He has not bit himself at school since January. Thankfully he didn't break the skin (he was biting chunks out of the backs of his hands for a while last fall and winter) I tell her that I expect this behavior to come and go throughout his life unless he is able to find a way to communicate his feelings (we are in the process of having the school evaluate him for assistive tech device). At least when he bites his hands now we have gloves to put on him, hoodies with thumb holes, etc. While I am at Walmart I buy him some new stuff to make a necklace he can bite or fidget with (he has tired of his beaded necklaces).

I call my daughter's doctor's office and leave a message for her doctor to write a letter about her ADD diagnosis and fax it to her school and send me a copy. I get a call as I am leaving Walmart saying there is NOTHING in her file about ADD. Really, I then explain that I filled out a screening form and at her follow up appointment (she had pneumonia at her yearly check-up and that's when I filled it out and she needed to come back to get her lungs checked out) her doctor, the ADD expert, looked it over and said that the other doctor recommended her seeing him and we discussed it and he said it looked like she had ADD. So the receptionist told me he would call me. He didn't. I had to call back the next day and talk to him. He wants me to bring her in today, fill out forms, look her over, give me forms for the teacher to fill out. What the heck!! Don't tell me she has ADD and then decide we need to jump through more hoops for an "official" diagnosis. I will hopefully find the time to post the results of all this soon.

Meanwhile, Olivia's behavior has become more hyper, impulsive, angry and fragmented. She is leaving drawers open in her room and leaving a trail of mess throughout the house and whining and crying when asked to pick it all up. She hasn't been taking her Prilosec or doing her inhaler and then lies to me when I ask her if she has taken it. Then gets mad at me for asking repeatedly if she has taken the medication and done her inhaler after finding out she has been lying about it. She even said herself that she talks when the teacher is talking, doesn't raise her hand, doesn't look where she is going at school. When I go to pick her up at school on Monday's the teacher is oblivious to her standing on a chair and almost falling on her head (I caught her when she fell), crawling around on the floor and not stopping what she is doing so we can go home. She is constantly in the nurses office with injuries from the playground. She has had her academics slip over the second half of the year. This is the same teacher that said in my meeting with her and the principal that there are no problems with Olivia's behavior other than chattiness. The principal all but told me not to get her evaluated for ADD because she already has too many kids with it in her school!

I spend the rest of the day listing a bunch of our crap on ebay trying to get rid of some of the more valuable clutter that is overtaking the house.

I got an e-mail on Monday that we need to send in receipts for the fiscal year for the grant money we receive from the state for Stephen. I added up receipts and realized we still needed to spend more of his money. I think some receipts got lost but I know we still have some of his money to spend. I spent all day yesterday researching computers just to realize that what we want to get him is out of our price range! So now I will try to buy some stuff for his upcoming birthday to use up the money.

A water main broke in a city a half hour away today and my son has a two hour delay that I don't know about until the bus doesn't show up because my kids have their shows on every morning. My son is in an out of district school and rides the bus for 45 minutes one way everyday and goes through this city. The lady at the bus company has the nerve to say "It was on the news" when I call to find out why the bus hasn't shown up. Why the heck would I expect a delay unless it is snowing!?

While I am waiting out front to put Olivia on the bus I look over at our car and see that our "Autism Awarness" magnet is missing.

My house is a mess, I feel like I am in a swirling vortex of mess and chaos. Normally, I can cope. But lately I am on overload and feeling a lot of stress and anxiety over the mess and clutter and chaos. The yard is still a total mess because no one lived here and took care of it before my landlord recently bought it and it was winter when he was fixing everything up and didn't get a chance to do the yard. I just can't accept that I am not Supermom!

Pat said during this long weekend we will do some reward charts for Olivia, make a chore wheel for everyone to help with cleaning and try to deal with some of the clutter.

Am I the only one who feels like they are expected to live up to this ridiculous ideal of doing everything single handed with a big smile on their face!?

I am not even going to the gym today because I have to get the house in order before I pull my hair out! I already cleaned the cat box and cleaned both bathrooms and am doing a bunch of laundry.

I really hope my week gets better. If Supermom is reading this, oh wait, she doesn't have time to read anything because she is too busy doing everything perfectly!!


Tripletmom said...

(((HUGS))) Yeah, it sounds like you had a day like... well it feels like mine every day.

Your school sounds a bit like mine, too. Why are they like this? Is your son's school better?

I hope your Tuesday and Wednesday went better than your Monday!

Anonymous said...

OMGosh... I can relate! I don't know what it is, but I can't help but feel that everything would be fine/better if I was more on top of things. Cleaning, shopping, cooking, crafting, decorating, finances... everything... if I could just get the energy to deal with EVERYTHING EVERYDAY... then everything would be perfect and fine. LOL.

I'm really trying to take on the belief of one of the blogs I read regularly, "it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful." Love it... live it... believe it... or try, at least. ;)

Queenbuv3 said...

Tripletmom-My son has been in an out of district school for years (it moves to different schools some years) through a collaberative. His classroom and the collaborative are great. His school district sucks. My daughter is still in our district's school, hence the problems.

Amanda-I haven't gone to the gym in a week and I'm probably not going this week either so I can get caught up on the house organizing, cleaning, etc. My son's birthday party is this weekend and my family lives out of state and this is the first time they will see our new place. They don't care where we live or how it looks but we do : ) We just moved about 3 months ago and I'm still getting things organized and cleaned. I just can't relax knowing that everything is a mess and not totally organized! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one with a complusion and obssession for order and cleanliness!

Alicia (aka Dr. Mom) said...

Awww... Okay, this is coming a bit late as im doing blogging catch up, and i know by now youre feeling better, but I sooooo feel for you :). Hang in there. you ARE supermom. super HUMAN mom. Thats what makes you super. because, you are flesh and blood, get tired and have bad days... and still keep on going. If you were made of steel and could fly, well then, THAT wouldnt be very impressive, would it? The fact that we all don't just abandon our kids and run off to Tahiti is a sheer testimony to our inner hearts and strength :)

Queenbuv3 said...

Alicia-Thanks for the support : ) I am definately having a rough time right now. I keep on going and do what I need to do but I'm having a lot of anxiety and stress. Usually it will pass if I just throw myself into my to do list but it isn't helping. I'm also staying up really late because I'm just awake and then I'm exausted in the morning and have to tear myself out of bed. I haven't been to the gym in almost 2 weeks. I really hope this will pass. I just don't feel like my usual self : (